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Signs that “YOU” are the problem in a romantic relationship

By: Damaris Acosta

All relationships take work, whether it be friendship, family tie, or co-worker tolerance. The relationship that the majority ‘understands’ takes tolerance and patience is the romantic kind.  However, let’s face it: sometimes we break up for shallow reasons such as having the wrong car, excessive body hair, or perhaps they don’t spend enough money on you.  Have you ever considered that you may be the issue?  Here are some indications to guide you through the process of identifying the problem.

  1. You refuse to compromise.

There are just some things you don’t compromise on, like your career and your freedom, but there are some things you have to be willing to budge on. It’s not always going to go your way and the sooner you realize that the better.

  1. You put yourself first all the time.

Though it’s been said that it is good to be selfish sometimes in a relationships, if it is all about you all the time, there is obviously a problem. Sometimes we need to let them spend time with their friends and even tag along when they want you to and let them join you.

  1. You have unattainable expectations.

It’s not a bad thing to have expectations for yourself and your partner. It’s actually healthy because then you have something to reach for. If you are constantly disappointed in all your partners with no solid reason, it may be that you just have to lower your standards to a more realistic level.

  1. Every partner you’ve had has had the same complaint.

It’s hard to hear constructive criticism sometimes, especially from someone you want to mean the world to and be everything for, but sometimes we just have to understand that our eating habits could be a little obnoxious when it’s always coupled with loud chewing or an open mouth. Learn to understand you’re not perfect and neither is your partner but that doesn’t mean you aren’t perfect for each other.

  1. You date people you hope you can change.

The older people get, the harder it is to change them and usually, “people don’t change,” as has been said many times. You can’t just pick someone and begin to mold them into the boyfriend or girlfriend you want. If you make a person change for you, they will more than likely resent you for making them get rid of their Pokemon card collection later.

  1. You aren’t able to see when you’re wrong.

Obviously, there is a problem here in other aspects other than just in a romantic relationship but we will just focus on this one. Everyone has been wrong and if you go through your relationship with the idea that you haven’t been wrong even once (I’m not talking about a 3 week relationship here, I’m talking about a real full-fledged relationship) there’s a problem, and it’s not that you’ve been with people who are dimwits.

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