Bad relationships

Not all relationships are laughs and smiles, in fact for some couples, the bad days outweigh the good ones.  If this situation sounds familiar, you may be involved in a bad relationship.  When people think of abuse, they initially imagine physical abuse: the slapping, shaking, pushing, excessive force, etc.   However, the majority of people do not consider the verbal, mental, and emotional scarring which are also a result of a bad relationship and just as demoralizing.

Here are some helpful points that will guide you to decide whether you are in an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship.  If any of the following apply to you, PLEASE SEEK HELP immediately!  You should never be in a relationship where you are humiliated, harassed, injured, or otherwise, demoralized.

Does your partner (Do they):

• call you/them rude names
• publicly humiliate you/them
• always play the victim
• play mind games
• put you/them down
• make you/them feel guilty about everything
• control what you/they do
• use jealousy to justify their/your actions
• isolate you/them from themselves or others
• manipulates you/them
• over react
• become overly needy
• ignores your/their feelings
• lie
• yell or scream
• talk down to you/them
• threatening suicide without clinical diagnosis of depression, anxiety etc.
•  threats to hurt you/them
• says thing to purposely hurt or offend you/them

Do you feel (Do they feel):

• constantly guilted into doing things you/they don’t want to do
• afraid of them/you
• worthless
• pressured to break boundaries
• isolated
• unloved or hated
• there will be no one else so you/they have to stay
• if you /they leave that it would be more dangerous than staying

If any of the above applies to you, get out of that relationship!  If it is happening to someone you know, please guide them and offer them help.  If it is your partner causing the issue, try talking about it with a parent, counselor, teacher, psychologist, another close friend.  Be careful when bringing it up to your partner’s attention, as it may cause more harm and humiliation.

If it is someone else who brings this to your attention, step back and consider it their observation.  Remember that admitting the problem is the first step to solving it.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Assistance is just a click away

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline – www.thehotline.org 
• National Child Abuse Hotline – www.childhelp.org
• Florida Department of Children and Families – www.myflfamilies.com
• Domestic Violence and Abuse – www.helpguide.org